It appears as if a lot of my Twitter feed is upset about Jonathan Franzen today, because he is putting out a new book soon. I don't know anything about Jonathan Franzen.

I've never read a word Jonathan Franzen has written and I couldn't tell you the name of any of his books. I guess he writes fiction, based on today's tweets? He's probably written non-fiction magazine essays (but who hasn't, right?). I couldn't even tell you why people think he's bad (white?). I don't know the difference between him and Dave Eggers (is there?) (I just googled Dave Eggers to make sure I had his name right). The only thing my brain associates with Jonathan Franzen is that Patricia Lockwood tweet about him putting a portobello mushroom on the grill.

I'm not even trying to brag about this, like when people are proud not to know about One Direction or whatever. I just generally know nothing about Jonathan Franzen, and I'm not sure I realized it until this afternoon.

Why would anyone have read a Jonathan Franzen book? Like in what context would his book come to you, and then have you open it and read it? Actually, those are rhetorical questions that I don't want anyone to answer. Please don't tell me anything about Jonathan Franzen. This isn't a cry for help. I'm extremely at peace with knowing nothing about Jonathan Franzen.

We are all blessed in our own ways.