A Chip ON the New Block--Let's Check New Flavors

Lay's mailed us a big box of chips for some reason. I don't know why. Each is a "novelty flavor." We conducted an informal taste test—are these tastes worth eating?

The Wasabi Ginger flavor is the only one that doesn't taste like a gag. The wasabi flavor is clear, and the ginger adds a nice balance. If you like eating sushi just for the accoutrements, I bet you'd like these chips. It made my brain do a loop, because you associate ginger and wasabi with soft textures, but now it's a crisp.

The bacon mac and cheese is real half-assed. It soooooort of tastes like bacon (probably owing to artificial smoked flavors) but there's not a trace of cheese, or macaroni for that matter.

There's a "mango salsa" flavor I didn't try because that sounds disgusting. Ditto "cappuccino." I don't appreciate "prank flavors." It's a waste of food and packaging, and most of all, my FUCKING TIME

We also got a big box of funny flavor popcorn, but I avoided that, because I'm trying to eat less junk these days. I wonder why Lay's mailed us these chips? It's probably a promotional thing—but I doubt they saw this coming. My suggestion is "don't eat this" and my advice to Lay's is "stick with what you know."

Still, this isn't as bad as that time Lay's used that artificial ingredient Olestra that made people leak out of their assholes. If the Lay's team that mailed us this Chip Box is reading this post, you can use that in a commercial: Wasabi Ginger Lay's, Not As Bad as a Leaking Asshole.

PHOTO: Sam Biddle