Malia Obama's birthday > America's birthday?

Barack and Michelle's baby girl turned 16 on July 4th. Imagine if Barack would've let MTV's My Super Sweet 16 film her party??! I can see it now: Sasha, flanked by secret service, twerks on the dance floor to Tyga's "Rack City," Justin Bieber makes a surprise appearance and tries to holler at Malia (he's denied, obvi), Biden, drunk out of his mind, keeps challenging underage high schoolers to a game of beer pong, and all the while Grandma Robinson sips on her "special drank" in the corner watching over the kids. Ratings goldmine!